The strangest, funniest, neurotic and darkest reverse of pocket computing. Just for freaks and geeks, we are introducing the ten maddest programs for Palm OS.

NEW !! - ¿Pocket PC? Most of the programs below have a PPC counterpart. Click here...

Everybody has peculiarities. Anyone who says otherwise is lying. There are people who collect Mazinger Z cards, have their computer case painted in pistachio green, or can’t get a good sleep until they have jumped three times on one leg. Such small weaknesses turn out, inevitably, in pocket computers, and the Web holds a true cornucopia of weird, weird, weird programs.

Herebelow you will find our ten finalists for Palm OS. It has been a difficult choice, and many amazing programs have been left out until future editions. Stay tuned for our Pocket PC counterpart. And if you know of an even weirdest program, please send us the link.

1. Voodoo!


Do you hate your boss, your in-laws or your neighbour? Now you can send their way all kinds of ailments and misfortunes, using this virtual voodoo doll. The maleficent act can be personalized, giving the recipient name to the label under the doll. It also includes information about voodoo rites. Freeware.

2. Palm Mirror


Probably the simplest applications ever written since Hello World. Palm Mirror turns pitch black the PDA screen, which allows using it as a mirror. Quite a helper for checking your teeth, your hairdo or your makeup in the middle of an important date. There are versions available for black and white and colour screens.

For the exorbitant price of 50 cents, you can get a PocketFull of Mirrors, an advanced version where you can even choose a different frame for every occasion. And there’s even a counterpart: FlashLight does just the opposite, lighting the screen in full white for using it as a flashlight. Only for models with a colour screen.

3. Bistromatic


In some places, people go Dutch on the restaurant bill, sharing the amount equally among all eaters. In other places, it’s the oldest one who pays. Or the one with the highest range, or even the one who wants to make a statement. However, in more civilised regions of the world, such as Germany or the northeast of the Iberian Peninsula, each one pays just what he/she has eaten. This psycho-social nightmare can be eased with Bistromatic, a program that calculates easily who ate what and provides separate amounts for each person, including percentual tipping. The program costs four dollars, to be paid at once.

4. FakeCall


Convergence, convergence... What’s the use of having an integrated device if one can’t wriggle out of work. With FakeCall, an utility for palmOne’s Treo 600 smart phone, you can press a sequence of keys, and in a few moments, ring!, you get a call, as fake as a three-euro bill. You can configure the delay, the ring tone, the vibration, and even a pre-recorded greeting so a caller can be heard from the other side. Now please excuse me, I have an important call.

5. Palmasutra


The antelope. Andromaco. The boa. The wheelbarrow. The accordion. What can we add to this complete compendium of sexual positions, each one with its name, illustration, detailed description, and even the possibility of adding your own notes. A real classic, available in several languages and display resolutions. Freeware.

6. fDic


If you’re not really into, well, intellectual challenges, this program will allow you cheating in crosswords. You just have to enter the letters you already have, and replace the missing ones with question marks. Hit Go and you get a list of all words possibly matching the pattern. FDic has free dictionaries for several languages, including English, Spanish and Catalan.

7. Divination


If you want to practice your abilities as a mentalist in any occasion, this program can help you. You are supposed to predict the position of one or several playing cards, covered on the game board. It has several levels of difficulty, enough to ridicule any number of these dreadful TV clairvoyants.

8. Scare The Doggy


Get away, you beast!. Who could imagine that annoying beasts would flee, terrified, from a shiny PDA? Dogs are sensible to certain frequencies, around 16 kHz, virtually inaudible for adult humans. Scare The Dog produces just those noises, very useful when our neighbour’s Doberman is chasing us or our sister-in-law’s poodle is biting our trousers.

Smaller, but even more annoying, the female (blood-sucker) mosquito feels very bad in the presence of 16 - 20 kHz beeps. Mosquito is a Palm program that generates tones in this range, guaranteed to drive away even the finest-hearing tiny beasts. Both programs are free.

9. Bubble Wrap Emulator


Better than rubber cows and dolphins, Turkish rosaries, gelatine bags and steel-ball mobile contraptions, bubble wrap (the variety used for packing) undoubtedly the best invention against stress. However, keeping a bit of bubble wrap in one’s pocket for low moments is not very convenient. That’s what makes this program such a brilliant invention. Once you have burst all the bubbles in the screen, you can start all over again.

10. HAL9000


" The 9000 series is the most reliable computer ever made". This program displays, realistically and worryingly, the electronic eye and the affable voice of HAL9000, the evil computer in the film "2001: A Space Odyssey". For science-fiction fanatics. Freeware.

Do you know any surprising program for Palm OS or Pocket PC? Please send us the link!.

More in CanalPDA.com:

• NEW !! - White PDA Christmas
• ¿Pocket PC? Most of the above programs have a counterpart there. Read on...
• 10 essential programs for Palm OS

This story has been translated from the Spanish original by Thesaurus Serveis Documentals, providers of language services for the technology industry.